Saying good-bye to a good friend -

We headed out early Sunday a.m. to drive to El Paso for Bill Cardon's funeral service. The plan was to drive to Mesa and attend church with Marcia - my old college roomie. The problem was two-fold, however. First of all, we did not factor in the the fact that Arizona does not change their time. Like smart people, they keep the time the same always!! We might still have made it for the 11:30 a.m. Sacrament meeting, but Dad got pulled over for going too fast once we crossed the Arizona border. Fortunately he got off with a warning! So we went to a 1 p.m. Sacrament meeting that was pretty cool. Pres. and Sister Udall reported on their mission as temple presidents in Paraguay. Dad especially enjoyed hearing about the early work in the Paraguay mission when Pres. Udall had gone there in 1956. At that time the mission included Peru!

Afterwards we enjoyed a lovely lunch with Marcia, Dea, and Dea's cousin. It put us behind an hour, but it was worth it!! And Marcia sent us off with a bag full of homemade chocolate chip cookies that actually rival Donna's! (They will figure into the story later on!!)

We got to El Paso about 10:30 at night and stayed at Doug and V.J.'s house. They were out of town, but their two cats kept us company!!

The funeral service for Bill was very nice - a fitting tribute to such a fine man. The chapel was full to overflowing - many came to pay their respects. Joe, Marjorie's oldest son, spoke, as did Harry F. Joe went over a lot of history that I was not aware of, which was nice. Funerals are often very illuminating! Harry's talk was great too - he did a wonderful job of personalizing Bill's life and the lessons we can all learn from it.
Dawn's nephew Travis played a medley on the viola which was beautiful, and a cousin of Bill's sang beautifully too.

We went in a long cortege to Ft. Bliss National Cemetery. The service was lovely - the military does do some things very well. Taps was played, and Marjorie received the flag covering Bill's coffin. Many paid their respects to Marjorie after the dedication, and the little kids were kind of running around. Isla wanted her mom, but Dawn was trying to visit with some people, so I had Noah get the leftover chocolate chip cookies from the car - and Isla was content to stay with Noah. The power of a good homemade cookie!!

Dawn with her brothers Bill and Shon and her nephew Travis.

Of course the ward did a great luncheon afterwards - ham and funeral potatoes - but these funeral potatoes has a Southwestern flair that was yummy. And the dessert selection was impressive - mint brownies, sugar cookies, rice pudding, apple pie and Texas sheet cake, of course.

There were framed photos from Bill's life on each table, and Travis had done a great slideshow. I should have taken more photos, but I was busy eating!! (This trip has done nothing for my weight loss plan!!)

We enjoyed visiting with the many family members who were there after the luncheon. The Cardon family is a large one - I had things fairly straight at one point, but I think I've forgotten some faces and names by now!! It is obvious that Marjorie has lots of love and support as she faces the days ahead.

Before heading out to Tucson - where we planned to spend the night with the Hamills - we had dinner with Doug. V.J. was still in Utah, but we enjoyed playing "catch-up" with Doug. And I finally got to have some sopapillas!!

We got to Tucson close to 11 p.m. Dave, who has to get up early for work, was already in bed, but we had a nice visit with Diane.

And the next morning we had some more visiting. Dad and I were thinking that we could meander our way across the country, staying with friends, for quite a spell before we ran out of friends and family!!

We pulled into Monrovia around 5:30 p.m. after a stop at the job site Dad is working on in Claremont. We have spent the better part of the last 3 days in the car - it's a good thing we all like each other!! It was not so bad - we had food - only had to stop 3 times for gas - and lots of NPR podcasts to listen too. My fave was listening to and singing along with the Christmas carols.

There were lots of beautiful flowers at the funeral, and here is a photo of the ones we sent to Marjorie. She is enjoying them at home.

It's back to work and getting ready to leave on Saturday for DC!! The fun never stops around here does it??

We will certainly miss Bill and his kindly demeanor. Christmas just won't be the same without him. For one thing, who will help Harry finish his puzzle?? But we do have some wonderful memories to reflect on.

A note to you all:

Harry and Dawn asked me to have an obituary printed for Jonah. I got frustrated with the Star News, so ended up going with the LA Times. It was in the Times today - but you can also access it online. You go to LATimes.com and click on obituaries. You can also click on the Guestbook and there is a place to send messages to Harry and Dawn - just in case you were interested.

Meanwhile, life goes on - most of the out of town guests have gone. Marjorie is here for another week or so. Friends and family continue to express their love and concern.

And if we had a little cake, we'd sing Happy Birthday!

(Harry has expressed his desire to post something on the blog - I told him to take his time - any time he's up to it, we'll be glad to read it!)

Big brothers and little brothers - and other late night ruminations

Dawn's family started arriving last week. B.J. - also called Sean - is Dawn's younger brother. Porter seems to have a special relationship with him, and it's sweet to behold.

B.J. actually left this a.m. to go back to Texas, but the other family members who were still here went to Santa Anita for the morning workouts and breakfast at Clocker's Corner. The children stayed home from school today, and after Santa Anita, they all headed off to Disneyland!! It was gray and cloudy all day - we are grateful we didn't have that yesterday. But it's perfect Disneyland weather!! (And I wanted a reason to post this sweet picture!)

I took the day off too - I had plenty to do, but I certainly didn't do all of it. Didn't even do most of it! I found that after two weeks of non-stop needing to do things, I was somewhat adrift. For the first time since Jonah's birth, there was time to reflect on his short little life. I have not really reflected much before now - if there was time to do it, I usually fell asleep!

I need to process all that has occurred, and I need to sort out what kind of impact it will have. Some of that impact will just happen. Some of it will be directed by my thoughts and intentions. I mostly find myself thinking about the events - they keep running through my mind. I love looking at the photos, re-reading the blog posts I have written and those others have written. I simply have not ever had such a life-changing experience before. I thought that getting married, having children, finishing school, moving to new locations - these were "life-changing." Weren't they?

But they were and are ongoing events. This little life has had an ending - at least an ending here on earth. And as I have said before, I am not the same person I was before. I don't especially want to be the same person. I want to be more aware, more sensitive, more intuitive, more connected. More like the kind of person who will be there to greet Jonah. More like the kind of person who will always keep his memory significant in my life. More like the kind of person Jonah was.

Good-bye baby Jonah

Today we said our final good-byes to Baby Jonah. The day dawned gray and overcast - reflective of our mood. But the sun peeked through and gave us just enough light to feel good about the day. The church building was awash with flowers, photos, and food. And friends and family too. The turnout was inspiring - to know that such a small boy, who only stayed for a few days, could touch so many hearts was indeed balm to our sorrowing hearts. Harry was especially touched that so many from his police department came to pay their respects. They were also touched when the nurses from Methodist arrived. These women told me how much they appreciated Dawn and Harry's willingness to share Jonah with them.

Brooke and Amy especially took charge of displays in the foyers and arranging all the lovely flowers that had arrived. They included Ella's quilt and the quilt from the Linus project.

The little lamb will be a stand in for Jonah when we take group photos of the grandchildren. And the sweet romper outfit was made by Sue Cornwall. I crocheted the little hat almost as an afterthought. Since he wore it a few times, I'm certainly glad I did! He was wrapped in the afghan I crocheted for him, and I am happy when I think that my love literally surrounded him on his final journey.

The Young Women leaders and girls made this beautiful quilt. It will be a treasure throughout the coming years.

We spent yesterday going through some of the many photos Harry has taken and put them together in frames and collages. It was a labor of love.

When I peeked into the chapel to take photos of the flowers, Ara and her mom were getting in some last-minute practicing. They both did a lovely job and added a special touch to the service. A big thank you to Roseann and Sue for the music - conducting and playing the organ.

Paula and Rebecca sent the plant and the stone which says "In our arms for only a short time. In our hearts forever."

The Relief Society did their usual wonderful job on the luncheon.

Mom, Donna, and Mary as we gathered for the family visitation before the service.

Harry and Dawn greeted friends and family. The flow of guests was steady - a tribute to the love many have for Harry and Dawn and our family.

I kept a lot of extra programs and will try to send them off to those who would like one - they were lovely - a tribute to Harry and Dawn's thoughtful attention to every detail.

Bill and Helen greeting each other.

Jim McKendrick made the lovely walnut casket - it was so tiny - the paintings of the Savior were gifts from Dawn's brother and nephew.

Jim also made the wagon. Harry placed the casket in the wagon, and Isla rode in it too. Eve pulled it into the chapel and Harry and Porter walked behind it. Harry and Dawn followed as they came into the chapel down the south aisle. When the service was over, they went up the north aisle to go out. Someone commented, "I could keep the tears at bay until I saw the wagon!" It was a sweet procession.

Dawn - doing what she does so well - fixing Eve's hair!

It was wonderful to see Erika and Scott, who made special trips to be here. Lest you think that your presence at a funeral goes unnoticed, I am here to say that it is noticed!! And appreciated.

The service itself was beautiful. The opening song featured the Terrill family anthem, "Because I Have Been Given Much," Pres. Cornwall spoke on the plan of happiness. The Primary children sang "I Am A Child of God" and Ara played a flute descant. They also sang "I Feel My Savior's Love." It was sweet when little Scarlett Ciesla ran up to the stand to join in. Harry spoke about the lessons that Jonah had taught their family. We hope to have a transcript of his remarks soon. A trio of Dawn's friends sang the Dixie Chicks song "Lullaby" and it was beautiful. Then Bishop Stevenson gave remarks, and the closing song was "Families Can Be Together Forever." The opening and closing prayers were given by Dawn's older brother Joe and her nephew Travis.

At the graveside, Harry dedicated the grave. His voice was strong and clear - the Lord truly sustained all of us today - and we are so grateful for that tender mercy.

There were also white doves - the children were allowed to release them - they flew off, circled, and then headed to their home in Hacienda Heights. It was a nice touch - and the children loved it.

Harry, Dawn and their children acquitted themselves so well today - Dad and I are so proud of their enduring faith and demeanor - they are a credit to us all. Jonah would have approved, I am sure.

One of the the special nurses from Methodist Hospital.

Heading off to Live Oak.

We were so pleased that Anne and Wayne were in town and were able to attend. Cheryl, Gilbert's daughter, also came.

Marjorie, her sister Annette, and Annette's daughter Katie. So good to see them again.

Rebecca, Marina, and Paula - neighbors and friends - what good neighbors they have been and continue to be.

Heather, Bruce, Bonny, and Frances.

Donna, Isla, Ara, Annika, Ella - I don't think I got all of the children who were present - they were pretty much running around by the time we got back to the church!

Did manage a family shot of Bonny and Bruce's family - and Ember scooted in too!

Harry and Scott - a formidable duo!!

I feel bad that the only shots of Greg and Noah are these - they were busy helping pretty much the whole time!! We were glad to have them there with us!

And I did remember to include myself - here with Miss Isla - who did a great job today - as a not-quite-two-year-old, these last couple of weeks have been a bit of a mystery to her - and she is doing a great job of adapting!! She sat with me at the funeral through most of Pres. Cornwall's talk. Then I took her to the nursery. I went for her again during the closing song, so she could ride in the wagon as we left the chapel. She gets the prize today, in addition to all the Tic Tacs I plied her with!!

I'm sure it will be a while before I sort through the various feelings and emotions that have taken over my life these last weeks. This experience is so new to me - one I didn't think I was prepared for. But I have just gone day to day - sometimes hour to hour even - and the Lord has blessed and sustained me. I have blogged, written in my journal, talked to anyone who would listen - but it's still not quite settled in my mind. Maybe it never will be. I will never be the same person again - what I want to be is the person who can be there to greet Jonah when we are once again reunited!