Happy Birthday to my Grandma Stevens

Today is the 124th anniversary of the birth of my Grandma Stevens, my mother's mom.  She is shown here in front of her house in Inglewood, the house we visited often when I was a child.  She is holding my cousin Chaz, who also lived in Inglewood. Whenever you mentioned that Alice's birthday was just one day after hers, she always said "Might as well have been week later - missing is missing!"

I was decidedly envious of her front porch.  We had no front porch on the little house, and not much of one on the big house, and Alice and I were envious of all large front porches - I've actually never had one in the years since - but continue to pine for one!

We thought a large front porch made the perfect playhouse site!

This is actually how I remember my grandma most.  Interestingly, as my own mother aged, she looked more and more like my Grandma Stevens - no surprise - but my grandma always wore fancy glasses, she had pierced ears, and she wore lots of jewelry.  I always thought her jewelry was real.  In later years, when my mom gave me an ice cream bucket full of old jewelry of my grandma's - which I used to make a jeweled Christmas tree - I discovered that the pearls, emeralds, sapphires, and rubies that I had long-admired were all fake! But I still loved her - and loved thinking she was the Queen of Sheba!

I know my grandparents were critical of my parents having so many children.  They would often tell them that if they didn't pay tithing they'd be able to live better.  They were critical of their LDS church membership too.  But they came often to visit, and we were always welcome at their house.  We had sleepovers there aplenty, and I thought their little Inglewood cottage was a treasure trove of mystery and adventure. She also fed us white bread and other cereals besides Cheerios and Wheaties!

My grandparents had separate bedrooms - which was intriguing to me.  When we spent the night in the guest room, the windows were always open - my grandmother insisted on sleeping with windows open - for everyone! And the neighbors - who were only a few feet away - listened to radio mysteries - but Alice and I cowered in fear thinking there really were criminals plotting crimes nearby!

 

We never had coats to wear - winter is not that severe in California - but my grandmother always knitted us thick cable sweaters with horn buttons.  It's a shame that we haven't kept any of them - I suspect they all got worn out!

I think she liked to bargain hunt, because she often came out to see us with bags of clothes she'd gotten on sale.  We were not at all picky and loved everything she found!  I recall a yellow corduroy jacket that I wore till it fell apart -  one of her bargain finds.

She brought us dolls and toys and birthday gifts too. When you are one of 12, having someone pay extra attention to you is a joy indeed!

Before she lost the ability to knit and crochet - because of her severe arthritis - she made afghans for everyone.  I know I treasure the one I have.  She also crocheted a blessing dress for Bonny that has been worn by many.  And she crocheted my blessing dress which my mom found when Eliza was born.  That dress has been worn often too.

After my grandpa died of lung cancer, my grandma quit smoking cold turkey and got active in the church. She became a temple worker and loved it. She was with me in the temple when we got married, and I can still remember her taking me around to introduce me to her friends there.  She was so pleased - and I can still feel her love today when I recall that time.

Grandmothering is the joy of my life - I love my kids and I love being a mom.  But being a grandma is a special blessing.  I am so grateful to have had a loving grandma myself, and want to pay tribute to her for her love and attention to all of us.

Happy Birthday to My Grandma Stevens

For many years I only had one grandma - my Grandma Stevens, my mother's mother.  She was a lovely woman and I loved her dearly.  She taught me to play solitaire.  I inherited her collection of costume jewelry - which I always thought was real!  I had to share my parent's bed with her the night before my wedding - it was December and a bit chilly - but she insisted on the windows being wide open  - it was healthy she said!  When I awoke with a sore throat, I distinctly recall muttering as I went down the hall, "It's Grandma's fault if I'm sick at my own wedding!"

 

I loved going to her house.  They had a bar in the "rumpus room" and we'd drink soda in shot glasses and feel positively wicked!!  She had a drawer in the hall that we could rifle through - I don't really remember what was in it, but I do remember that it was always fun!

She taught me to love Puffed Rice too!  Always had it at her house!

 

When I went away to college, she wrote me lots of letters - in fact, she typed them up on her Remington typewriter!!  I thought I had them saved, but I have been looking and haven't found them yet - but I'm not giving up!

After my grandfather died, she became active in the church once more.  And became a temple worker.  She was with me when I went to the temple the first time - what a treat - she introduced me to all her temple buddies, who made a big fuss over me - it's always nice to have a big fuss made over you!!

Happy 123rd Birthday Grandma!!

Mother!

I've always loved this photo because it captures so much with so little.  I'm holding Bonny, the sweet little girl who made me a mother.  I love all my children, but you only have one first child.  And that child has to bear the brunt of being first, so you sometimes feel bad about how inept you were at times.  Bonny has been generous and forgiving of our efforts on the learning curve!

And my mother and her mother are in the picture.  I heard something on NPR this morning - didn't catch all the details, but it was a woman who was performing with her son - and she hadn't performed for awhile.  Her son was speculating that it was a revelation to his children to see their grandmother as a whole other person than just the Grandma they knew.  And my mother and grandmother were definite people before they became "Mom and Grandma!"

My grandma was a stenographer, and she loved to travel.  She and my mom went across the country on the train every summer to visit in Ashland, Kentucky, my grandma's birthplace.  She was a wonderful needlewoman - but didn't really take it up until middle age.  And my mom always wanted to go to college - didn't get to go and graduate until she was 68 years old - the age I am now!  The more I visit with her, the more I learn - and I think I thought I knew all about her!!

Talk to your mom and your grandma - if that's still an option - and your daughters!!  Let's keep learning and loving and growing - and making our mothers proud!

Happy day today to all the wonderful moms I know and love!

A great legacy!

My dad, Robert William Clayton.

 

My Grandpa Clayton - Peter Affleck.

 

My Grandpa Stevens - Harry Lyndon.

 

Harry's Grandpa Terrill - Harry Francis.

 

Harry's Grandpa Taylor - Lorin Farr.

 

Harry's dad - Harry Porter Sr.

We have lots of good men in our families!!

Happy Day to all those great dads who follow in their footsteps!

Happy Birthday Grandma Stevens!

My Grandma Stevens was a wonderful grandma. She always seemed happy to see us.  She came often for visits, and when she did, she brought us gifts.  She knitted sweaters for us, she bought dolls at Christmas time, and she always had Quaker Puffed Rice in her pantry!!  I was certainly happy to have her there when I got married.

 

As a young woman, she left Kentucky and came to Utah.  Her mother wanted her to go there and find a Mormon husband.  She met my grandpa, who not only was not a Mormon, he disliked Mormons.  But that's another story.  Suffice it to say that she was a stenographer and always typed her letters to me!!  (She was a great correspondent during my college years!!)

 

She always wore lots of jewelry, and as a child I assumed the gems were real and valuable!!  They were costume jewelry, but that really made no difference to me!  They drove a Cadillac too - my grandpa worked for General Motors and got a new car every year - and I thought wealth began and ended with them!!  

And that's not a bad way to feel about your grandparents!!

Her birthday was the day before Alice's birthday - and she always said that a day later or an hour later, didn't matter - Alice missed her birthday!!

I am so grateful that I grew up with a grandma I loved - and who loved me back!!

Happy Day to you Grandma!

Happy Birthday Uncle Steve!

Uncle Harry, the oldest child in the family.  His birthday is in January.

 

Uncle Steve was next in line.  It's his birthday today!!  He would be 97.

 

And this is my mom - Grandma Clayton - who has a birthday in May.

I think about families and groups of siblings and my own siblings and my own children - and realize that families come in all shapes and sizes!  They have their own dynamics.  I often wish I'd probed a little more when I was interacting with my uncles.  I ask my mom lots of questions, but of course it is just from her perspective.  Actually I should ask questions of myself, so that I don't forget about the family dynamics I grew up with.  Sometimes it all starts to blur!!

What I do know is that my Uncle Steve was a jolly, happy kind of guy.  I always felt better after I'd been around him.  I enjoyed being in his home.  He was as cheerful as his picture looks!!

Here's to siblings - the best kind of friends to have!!

Through the years -

16 year old Mary Stevens Clayton

16 year old Barbara Clayton Terrill

 16 year old Bonny Brae

Almost 16 year old Ara Grace!!

Can't believe Ara's 16th birthday is almost upon us!!  Just a week away!

Pics from the party and more!

Judy's son Greg and his wife Chris joined the festivities!!

It was great to see Byron and Mercedes too.

The FHE crew posed under the last of the orange trees there on the old homestead.

If you're not related, can you name them in order - youngest to oldest??

David

Donna

Leslie

Bobby - who wasn't there when I was snapping photos.

This is a recent photo of Bill, but he too made himself scarce when I was snapping shots.

Richard

Mary

Charles

Alice

Since I was the photographer, there isn't one of me alone! But it's good to get Mom in the mix.

Lyn

Joan

It really was a wonderful weekend - worth the effort it took to make it come to pass!!

Saying Goodbye

Today we attended the services for our cousin Judi Stevens Webster.

As usual I have pictures in the reverse order that I want - and once again it's too late at night to fuss with changing it. So here we are, the "Clayton Contingent" who came for the service.

Mark, Judi's half-brother, and his wife also came.

After the graveside service at Rose Hills, the ward Relief Society did a little meal at the ward building. This shot is of Judi's family: her son and daughter, their spouses and children, and her husband Bob Webster. It was a nice opportunity to get to know family members we have only known peripherally.

This is Judi's son Greg and her daughter Laura. I look forward to staying in touch and getting to know them better.

Greg's wife had made a display of photos of Judi. I think this shot shows her resemblance to her father, Uncle Harry.

And Mother said she thought that in this one you could see a resemblance to Judi's mother Bernice.

Judi's grave is in a lovely spot overlooking a little lake.

Helen came to the service too.

Mother commented to several people there that, "I really wasn't expecting this." And I think it signals a particular recognition that we are indeed mortal. Those who die aren't always the "elderly." We do indeed need to treasure the moment and live in the present.

Sad News

I got a call on Saturday from Grandma Terrill. My cousin Judy lives in her ward, and she had found out that she was in intensive care at Kaiser in Baldwin Park. I tracked down Judy's son, whom I had met at my Uncle Harry's funeral a few years ago. He and his family live in Duarte.

The story was not an encouraging one - Judy had a massive heart attack a week ago. She was not conscious, and the prognosis was not good. So I was not surprised tonight to receive the news that she had died this evening.

Judy was the daughter of my Uncle Harry and his first wife Bernice. Judy was Joan's age, and she was often at our house. Even though she lived in El Monte, I did not see her often. Mom would call her now and again, but she didn't go out much and didn't really like to see many people. She was plagued with ill health and had some other problems. But when I did see her, she was warm and gracious.

I don't have any pictures to post. I called Mom, and she told me that years ago she had gathered up all the pictures of Judy and her parents and had given them to Judy. Of course Judy was pleased to get them, but that leaves us without any.

I will contact her son in the future and see if I can't get one or two to post. Most of you don't remember her, but a photo or two might jog your memory about the times you did see her.

In the meantime, remember her husband and family in your prayers. She is no doubt in a good place - at peace and well.

Happy Birthday Grandma Stevens

Today is my Grandma Stevens birthday. I'm not sure which one, but she was born well over a hundred years ago - since my mom, her daughter, is almost 90!!

My grandma was not active in the church for many years - but she got active when I was in college. I have always been grateful for that, since she was in the temple with me when I got married. It is a special memory that I treasure. She had become an ordinance worker in the Los Angeles Temple, so she had a fine time taking me around to meet her friends there!!

Her birthday is one day before Alice's birthday. When I would say that to her, she would always reply, "Might as well have missed it by a month. If you miss it, you miss it!!" (She was not the sentimental type!!)

I loved my Grandma Stevens. She didn't have a Grandma's Treasure Box, but she did have a drawer at the bottom of her linen closet that was all ours when we went there to visit - in my memory it is a veritable treasure chest of things to play with! (and I think it mostly had old decks of cards and poker chips in it, but we were always happy!)

Give your grandma a hug today in her honor!!

Oh, those glory days again!!

I love these old photos of Grandma and Grandpa Stevens. I definitely took them for granted in my life. They were often around, they always seemed happy to see us, and I loved when they came in their new Cadillac to help us wow the neighbors!! (My grandpa worked for General Motors as a Traffic Manager at their plant in Downey, I believe, so he got a new car from them every year! We loved taking rides around the block and feeling positively wealthy!!)

I pretty much remember them looking like this - and I don't know the date of this shot. I know that once I computed how old my grandma was when I was a girl - when I was 12, she was only 63 - younger than I am now - and I was just sure she was old! Funny how age is truly relative!!

Another memory I have is of coming home to gifts from my grandma that she had left off while we were at school. She would be shopping and find bargains she thought we'd enjoy. In particular, I remember a mustard yellow corduroy "barn coat" style jacket. It had contrasting fabric under the collar and along the pockets. I think Alice had one too, but maybe not. She often gave Alice and me matching gifts. We loved that. Anyway, I truly wore that jacket out - I thought it had real style - and it might have - or it might not have - I wasn't especially "cool" or "fashionable" but it did give me joy - and according to Bonny, that's what counts!

This has got to be vintage 70's, since a pre-teen looking David is in the shot - and I have no idea where it was taken - but the woman with her back to us is probably Aunt Bobbie, and next to her is Uncle Steve, I think. And do you love Grandma's outfit and her corsage?? Maybe it was a Mother's Day brunch or something.

The windows in this shot are bow windows - and they were in a back bedroom that was large and spacious - at least it is in my memory - and it had lovely furniture in it - I think it was Grandma's bedroom - and there were framed pictures everywhere - my recollections are more of photos than real people. Some of my favorite pictures of my mother were in that room. And Grandpa was always out in his garden - either gardening or putting on his 3 hole golf course! He was always happy to have you join him too!!

And this is the house! It always seemed so large and spacious to me - but that was probably because there were only 2 people living in it!! When we moved back to California, I remember noticing houses that reminded me so much of my grandparents' house - there aren't many of this style in Utah! And there are lots in this style in Monrovia!!

I can walk down Primrose and have an Inglewood memory whenever I want!!