Saying good-bye

Received word this morning that my cousin Paula, daughter of my Uncle Paul, died after a courageous battle with cancer.  She is shown here with her brother Craig and his wife.  Paula is in the dark top.

 

She is shown here with her younger sister Kim in the blue, and her older sister Pam, in the flowered top.

 

All these photos are from a Clayton reunion, but I'm not sure which one - I'm thinking maybe 2007, but I could be wrong.

There are some ironies here - at least to me.  We were never close to our cousins, on either side of the family.  There are lots of reasons given for the lack of closeness, but I suspect it had to do with many factors.  For one, we had a very large family and didn't often have a car that fit all of us.  For another, we had a large family in a small house - for several years anyway - and I think family members felt like they were imposing if they came.  I also suspect no one really wanted to invite a crowd like us over for dinner or anything.  My grandparents usually came to visit us!

Uncle Paul came to the reunions until his death almost 10 years ago.  These photos are from the one year his kids did come, and so we mostly saw them at "events" like wedding receptions, funerals, and anniversary parties.  When we did see one another, we were certainly friendly and cordial, but we didn't have a whole lot in common.

About 2 years ago, Paula began responding with comments when I posted old Clayton family photos.  This correspondence grew, and I sent her old photos, cards, and letters.  She shared her cancer story - 2 years ago they said she was terminal, so she did gain some dearly appreciated time.  She was able to see her son married, witness the birth of some grandchildren, and spend time with her family and husband.  I am really grateful that I was able to re-connect in this way with her.

This morning I saw a post that seemed to imply that Paula had passed away.  It wasn't like a direct announcement, and if you hadn't read through it, you might not perceive that she had died.  So I called her sister Kim, whom I actually know better because she used to live in SoCal, and asked her.  Kim told me that they had known that Paula was not doing well, and in fact had been in a coma, but she hadn't been notified by anyone of her death.  Then Kim's daughter called her and pointed out the FB post to her - so they took it down until all were notified.

(I recall when Ry Nebeker died, I didn't want to post anything until the family officially announced his death.  I think that's important to keep in mind when you want to rush to put something on FB - be sure you're are not being premature in your endeavors.)

I had tried to figure out several times how to stop by to see Paula - perhaps on a drive up to Oregon - she lived in Northern California - but it never worked out - we kept flying up there.  I just didn't think of it the year Harry and I had our "road trip" to Oregon either.  So I am sorry that I hadn't seen her in awhile.

But I am certainly grateful that I was able to maintain a meaningful correspondence with her at the end of her life.  Time is so precious - we truly don't know how much of it we have.

Can you name them one by one?

 Joan  

Lyn   

 

Barbara (with Mom)

 

Alice (with Harry and Laurine C.)

 

Charles

 

Mary

 

  Richard

Bill (with Anne)

 

Leslie

 

Donna

 

David

 

Bobby belongs after Bill - but can you believe this was the only photo I had of him??  Come on Bobby - let's not be so camera shy - or send me some photos!!  (Bill is tough to get photos of too!)

I had a roommate who prided herself on being able to name my siblings.  Even years later, whenever we met up, she'd stop and say, "Let's see if I can still name them!"

Too bad I didn't think about what I was doing at Mom's party - and then maybe I would have gotten an individual shot of everyone.

Oh well, now it's a goal!

Happy Day to Charlie!!

This is an old photo - but it's actually one of the earliest photos of Charlie (and Mary too.)  He and Mary somehow got the short end of the stick when it came to photographs - there are apparently no baby photos of them.

But Charlie was born on July 28th!!  I remember staying at Grandpa Clayton's - or maybe I remember my mom talking about it!! 

Either way, happy day to you - and a wonderful year all year through!!

Happy Birthday!!

Happy day today to my "big" sister Joan - better to say big than old(er) right??

Shown here in 1971 with baby Bonny - who looks remarkably like lots of the Terrill offspring - or more accurately I should say, many of the Terrill offspring take after her!

Joan is a great sister - she's the oldest and she leads out in her emphasis on the importance of family.

Have a great day and a wonderful year ahead!!

Some fathers I know and love!!

Sort of in the vein of "if you give a mouse a cookie," when I start thinking about the great dads I know, it can start off a chain of musings, especially if I am scrolling through photos at the same time.  Of course there's the dad of our children - a wonderful father and grandfather too.

And my own dad was a great dad and grandad and great-granddad!!  As the years go by, more and more memories re-surface and I am grateful for the years we had with him.

 

Our son Harry is a wonderful father - and showed such courage and compassion as he and Dawn helped Jonah navigate his brief sojourn here on earth.

 

Our beloved "Pop," the "other" Grandpa Terrill, was here only a relatively short time in the grand scheme of things - and all the kids and grandkids did not get the opportunity to know him as well - but his influence is always with us.  And that is a blessing.

It has been so great to watch our wonderful sons-in-law become fathers - as we often say, we couldn't have done a better job if we'd picked them ourselves.  Matt is so patient and calm - a good role model for all dads.

 

When they talk about "hands on" dads, they must be thinking of David -nothing gets past his eagle eye - and he's a good sport about it all.

 

The stories about my Grandpa Clayton are legion - and he certainly had flaws - but they were never apparent as he interacted with us.  He called me "his little Relief Society President" and instilled in me the belief that I could achieve whatever I wanted to achieve.  (Not that I wanted to be a R.S. President - he just told me I was good at "taking charge" and so to be sure I was ready for whatever came my way!)

 

My Grandpa Stevens was somewhat "crusty" as they say, but I only remember his kindness and gentleness with me.  Anyone who will spend Christmas afternoon teaching a little girl to roller skate is wonderful in my book!

Bruce is a great dad - and a great "father" to his ward family - we could all learn much from his example.  We appreciate his "pioneer" spirit in our family - I often say he set a gold standard for us all to follow!!

Since we're mentioning all the other men in the family, don't want to leave out Robbie or Noah - potential dads who bring a spirit of love to our family.  Robbie is a natural with kids - maybe it's because he has that wonderful "forever kid" gene somewhere in his genetic makeup!!

 

We love Noah - and love that he cares about all the "kids" in the family!

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads everywhere - but especially to all the great dads we call family!

Move over Brady boys!

This photo is so 70's!!  Gotta love the world of fashion!!!

Happy Birthday Hester!!

Okay, I just love to post this one every year for Hester's birthday!! Obviously Hester was in town - and it's a long time ago - but not in a galaxy far, far away anyway - now that would be something to blog about!

It's been a few months since I last saw Hester - and I miss those years when we got to see her quite often - but I do enjoy keeping up with her in the blogosphere!

Have a great day and a wonderful year ahead!!

Happy Birthday to Barbara Jr.

Leslie is 14 years younger than me - I think it's 14 anyway - and was often called "Barbara Jr." because she looked like a younger version of me. I'm not sure how much we look alike, but it's obvious we are related!!

And how glad I am that we are related!! Growing up, I was so much older than Leslie, that it was more like I was an aunt or something - one who came home summers actually!! For two of the summers I was home, I worked for LA Unified as a Playground Aide - and many days Leslie and Donna came to work with me and spent the day at the playground. I don't remember lots about it - mostly that it was fun to have them in the car with me as I commuted and at the playground as I interacted with kids all day.

I have a memory of Leslie driving up to Utah with me in our little yellow VW - when Bonny was a baby and Harry was in South America. She spent a couple of weeks with me - I remember it being fun to have her around - and not just because she was a great little baby sitter either.

I'm glad we had all those associations after I married and left home. And I'm glad that we are good friends as well as sisters. When Bonny chose UCSB over BYU, she commented that she wanted to be close enough to stay in touch with her family - she wanted to be part of the lives of her younger siblings who were still at home when she left. It has made a significant difference in our family that she made that choice - I'm grateful to her for realizing the difference it would make!

I am so grateful that I have wonderful sisters - and brothers too - and that Leslie is one of them.

Have a great day - and a wonderful year ahead!!

(And we will ignore that it's Friday the 13th!!)

Happy Birthday Dale!!

I think I post this one for Dale's b-day every year - but it does seem like quintessential Dale, if you know what I mean!!

Dale's a great brother-in-law - I've always been glad he joined our family!! Have a great day - and a wonderful year ahead - we look forward to the next time we get to visit with you!!

Happy Birthday to our own "Richie-boy!"

Who remembers when we called him "Richie-boy?"

At any rate, happy birthday today to Richard!! I remember sitting on the curb, waiting for Dad to come home to tell us about the "new baby!"

And have a great year ahead too!

Happy Birthday Bobby!!

I'm pretty sure this is my "go-to" photo for Bobby - shown here with Grandpa Clayton - that would be Peter Affleck Clayton. This is a Christmas time photo - and Bobby's birthday is right around Christmas time - that would be today!!

I also remember Bobby's birth. And he's coming for a visit this week!

Bobby always has a smile for everyone - and we are glad he's part of our family!!

Hope it's a great day - and a great year ahead for you!!

Happy Birthday Mary!

I'm pretty sure Mary grimaces when I choose to post this photo. But you've gotta love the matching horn-rimmed frames. And the total 70's look!!

(Fashion icons before their time. Bill is all set for Matt and Eliza's Neil Diamond party!!)

Mary is a great sister - I love and appreciate her concern and loyalty and her total willingness to serve others!!

Have a great day - and a wonderful year ahead!!

I even remember her birth - at least I remember that Alice and I went to stay with Grandpa Clayton and Helen when Mary was born!

It's a good thing there was a backup!!

I lost my camera somehow - I'm not sure where. The last time I saw it was when I took a picture on the bus coming back from New York.

But I called Megabus Lost and Found - it wasn't there.

I called Hannah and Robbie - it wasn't in their house or their car or the trunk of their car.

And it wasn't anywhere in Eliza's house.

I think someone took it when they found it on the bus. But I'm not sure why - it was kind of beat up.

Or maybe it will show up like the pair of good sewing scissors I once "lost." I accused - in my mind at least - a number of possible culprits.

Three years later it turned out to be folded into some fabric I had put away in a drawer!

I will let you know if it ever materializes.

Meanwhile, go to Hannah's blog to see her pictures of our trip. They are probably better than mine would have been anyway!!

Happy Birthday to My Dad!!

I'm sure I post this every year - but it's one of the few pictures I have of me with my dad. And it's on his birthday too, so that makes it even more perfect for the occasion!!

My dad was born on November 7th, 1916 - the day that Woodrow Wilson was elected president of the United States. He usually told us that every year too.

My dad was not perfect - he had some biases that disturbed me - but he was a great dad. He was always there to lend a hand or give a ride or letter your poster for a class project. He could construct book covers out of brown paper grocery sacks that never slid off - and he didn't use any tape! He could make a yellow cake with duck eggs that was really yummy. He could teach you how to drive stick shift in one lesson!! (Even though I drove to work the next day and stayed in 2nd gear the whole way. On the ride home, I figured, "What the heck," I might as well shift again and see what happens!)

He drove us to Seminary in the very early a.m. - and then slept in the back seat so he was there to drive us all to school. He always teared up on Mother's Day when he talked about his mother. He shared his refrigerated Snicker bars with you if you were at the shop.

I'm grateful that I had a dad who loved and appreciated women. Early on I knew that I was a person of worth. I'm grateful that I had a dad who honored his priesthood. I was able to receive blessings when I was in need of them. I'm glad I had a dad who was a faithful home teacher and missionary. He set an example I have tried to follow. I'm glad I had a dad who valued his own extended family. He never spoke ill of them.

Happy Birthday Dad - I'm glad you are my dad!!

Newest Great-Grandbabies!

Congrats to Paul and Camille on the births of Owen and Malcom.

And congrats to Joan and Fred - who are now the proud grandparents of 6 grandsons!

Celebrating Bill!!

Amanda planned and executed a surprise birthday party for my brother Bill. Turned out he wanted turkey for dinner - said if he'd known Amanda was going to invite everyone, he'd have said he wanted barbecue. But it was a great dinner even if we were a little crowded. Besides, that's the name of the game for a Clayton event - most of us felt right at home!!

It was fun to see Erik, who said he hadn't been to California since 2007. Noah came too, Mary, Donna, Mom, Debbie, Alyssa, her friend Teri, Billy, and of course Amanada, Josh, Zander, Michaela, and Claire.

The little kids "posing" for me. Michaela said hers was a "princess pose!" (I'm not sure if I'm spelling her name right either, so forgive me if I'm wrong!!)

My haggard smile might indicate what the first week of school was like!!

The birthday boy and Mom!!

Bill had requested Apple Spice Cake - a big hit.

Some who came encountered some tough holiday traffic, but Dad and I sailed in. A nice way to spend a Friday night.

Happy Day to Bill!

Bill is the snappy dresser with the stars on his shirt - that's Bobby and Richard with him.

One thing about being among the older children in a large family is that you don't always know your younger siblings as siblings - they are more like cousins or nieces and nephews. So I have appreciated the opportunity to associate with Bill after we moved back to California.

He's a good man!!

Have a great day - and wonderful year ahead!!

Reunion Time Once Again!!

It comes around every 2 years - and those years seem to come faster and faster all the time!! I was recalling that the first one was in 2003 - so this is the 5th one!!

These first few photos are from Sunday night - a little Clayton get-together before Charlie, Sean and girls headed home.

Since we didn't score a fire ring at the beach, we had our own tonight - complete with s'mores!! Some traditions are essential!!

Joan came from Tennessee - she's a loyal reunion supporter.

Gretta enjoyed choosing from the Grandma's Treasure Box!

It was fun to see the Fredericksons!!

Eve loved finding some more girl "cousins" to enjoy hanging with!

All Bill and Debbie's kids and grandkids were there! Debbie's brother and his wife showed up too - they are in Carlsbad on a mission and had the day off!

Seven of the twelve were there - better than some years! Mom said, "Does my hair look bad?" We replied that all the hair looked bad - a casualty of windy beach weather!

This is from the Sunday night dinner - not sure how blogger arranges the things you post!! It certainly was fun to spend time with Sean and his girls. We haven't seen them that often in the past.

Terrills and Claytons - a good mix anytime!

Pete with Cheryl and LaDawn.

Joan and Bonny, hangin' out!

The presiding matriarch - what a good sport Mom is!

The Two Donnas!

Charlie, Sean, and girls.

Patrick, Bobbie and son.

Joe and Jane had all their kids and grandkids there too!!

This turned out to be the only shot I took of Harry and of Lois - they were pretty social and didn't stay in one place long - probably why I didn't get more pics of them! Can you tell Dad borrowed my hat??

Tom, Leslie and girls.

LaDawn's crew!

It was great to see Audrey and Ted's boy Jim and his wife Donna!!

Do we see a family resemblance?

Eve came with us since Harry had to work.

The young man on the left is Pete's grandson - I didn't have to tell you that either, did I? The other young man is Lois's nephew's son. Some of the connections were circuitous. You needed a program to keep track!

Taking photos was the order of the day.

Steven, Kim, and Gavin.

Josh and Amanda and their kids.

It was a beautiful beach day!

Tom gets the prize for being the "Renaissance Man" - he ran, biked, swam, ate, socialized, and even got some reading in!

If you weren't there, we missed you. The next one is scheduled for the first Saturday in August of 2013 - if that conflicts with something important - and you'd like to come - let me know - with advance notice, we are flexible!!

To those who came - thanks for your support! It almost runs itself now - so it was nice to be able to visit and enjoy one another's company!!